THE RUDE AWAKENING

Hey Guys,
Its the last month in the year 2015. God has been too faithful. Looking back at the years past, I march forward in eager anticipation because Gods mercies and grace on my life literally double up each new year.
Here's an article I wrote for a blog almost three years ago, I think you might like it. I didn't make any alterations (which was very hard) even to the text size and title. Simply because you deserve complete transparency.
Also the image below is a throwback from the same year
Enjoy! P.S The story line was pure fiction.

“You are No Cinderella” That statement echoed over and over again in my head. I and my boyfriend had a very heated argument and all I could remember was this! It threw me aback and even now a week after I can’t seem to get it out of my mind.

                I have been a sucker for love stories for as long as I can remember. I believe I have an Adam from whose rib I was created, a prince charming who would hold on to my shoe until he finds me, I was so engrossed in fairy-tales that making my life one became my sole ambition. Unconsciously, I had resolved that “living happily ever after” meant success. Only for him to imply that I am not worthy of that success! Yes that’s exactly what that means. But as I sat in my room in rage it hit me, I had been setting ridiculous standards that even I didn’t match up to. I was so concerned about him doing all the right things that I didn’t stop for a moment to check if I was deserving of them.

                I wanted an Edward whereas I wasn’t ready to sacrifice my humanity for “love”, I wanted a Troy whereas I was a sharpay, I wanted a jack who would give up his life just so I can live whereas I would never date someone below my social class, I wanted a Prince charming whereas unlike Cinderella I would’ve shot my step mother and gone to jail rather than act like a fool humbly serving her in my father’s house, I wanted a Noah whereas I would never give up financial security like Ally to continue a summer romance.

                He was right; I was a selfish girl desiring a selfless lover, asking him to do things which I could never do for anyone. And just then a light bulb lit in  my head, and this scripture came to mind Proverbs 18:24a “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly” If I want a prince charming I must focus on making myself into a Cinderella and he will come. Because our attitudes and character determine the type of people we attract and also the side of people we pull out. Reality had just set in.

Camp is fun they said! -___-

Hey guys,
So as some of you might know, I recently completed the NYSC Orientation camp. I was posted to Oyo state and just like many other fresh corps members I went on a mad information hunt to prepare myself for whatever I might face in camp, I joined whatsapp groups, ransacked google, read "Eagles in Khaki"from cover to cover (its an NYSC guide given to CU graduates every year), subscribed to multiple NYSC Info BBM channels, and stillll, It was extremely different from what everyone described. Here's a little bit of My NYSC camp experience.! I'm very glad my Otondo days are over. As I publish this, I'm smiling in my  extremely cool Primary Place of Assignment(How I got posted here is story for another day *cleans sweat*) but for now, enjoy the accounts of my sufferings below;

I've made two major personal discoveries in the few days I've spent in camp thus far. It's been like nothing I expected. 

The first is that I am NOT physically strong. I didn't know the extent of my physical weakness until I arrived NYSC Batch B 2015 Oyo state Camp. In my lame attempt to carry my box on my head at the camp gate, I fell down 3 times. In between the soldiers raising their deep voices at me to my fellow prospective corp members glaring at me with pity written all over their faces, I looked ahead only to discover a friend of mine had been videoing my struggle with the box the entire time. I cannot adequately explain how much shame I felt in that moment. What a way to begin my 3 week Journey!
Haven narrowly escaped the "box carrying" tradition with no injuries sustained, I breathed a sigh of relief thinking the worst was finally over. This was however short lived as the registration process proved to be a much more difficult task.
I stood and sat on ONE queue for over 5 hours. Within these 5 gruesome hours I saw first hand the diversity of our Nation Nigeria. Nearly all the tribes in Nigeria were represented among the thousands of youths present at the camp. The differences between us were obvious, I will not state them here for the fear of being labeled a "tribalist". Underneath all of those differences however, we all shared a number of things in common:
 >> One Fatherland
 >> Successful completion of a first degree
 >> And of course we all desperately wanted to get to the front of the line. This led to shunting which in turn led to quarrels and mini-fights but then at the end of the day we all got to finish the registration process even though some did faster than others. This process for me was a reminder that Life is a Race and it's almost impossible for every runner to finish at the same time and pace.
On the seemingly harmless open field just inform of the camp gate called "THE PARADE GROUND", I made my second major discovery; I can sleep standing up!
It was our first full day on camp at about 5 AM, all prospective Corp members were summoned to the parade ground. There I was dressed almost identically with over 2000 people. I had massive eye bags, sore limbs and a banging headache from my "box carrying" the previous day. I nodded back to life only to discover one of my platoon members giggling as he had caught me shamelessly sleeping on my feet. In intense embarrassment I asked myself "Who sent me to do NYSC?".
No doubt it has been a drilling process but thankfully with each passing activity it's becoming easier to survive.
I've beat my alarm clock two days in a row to take get ready in the mornings, surprisingly the morning exercises have become my favorite camp activity and I no longer tremble at the sight and sound of the soldiers.
My favorite lines in the NYSC Anthem read; "Let us lift our nation high" and "with dedication and selflessness". In order to lift a heavy object off the ground, the easiest way is to lift it from the bottom with help from others.  Nigeria is that heavy object and lifting it up from the bottom will require humility and team work. At camp, each time we sit on the grass, run at the sound of "double-up double-up" and carry out all the other "frustrating" instructions given to us by our Instructors for the fear of being punished, we learn humility. Each time we come together in our platoons to carry out the tasks given to us, we learn team work. Both things we need in other to effectively serve our nation in this NYSC year and beyond.
I made the decision to focus on the positives in this 3 week journey. Ever since I made this decision, I've been able to smile and sometimes even laugh through the painful and frustrating moments.
So far so good! I look forward to brighter days ahead. 

Sinmisola Nojimu-Yusuf,
Gentleman Corp Member, Batch B Oyo state. 

COMPLIMENTS

I do not price compliments about my physical appearance very high

Until this moment I didn't have an answer to the question "Why"?

I've finally realized why

I'll tell you 

They're pleasant to hear

They make me smile but only for a while

I do not value such compliments because when people speak of my physical appearance particularly my face

They speak of something outside my reach

They speak of something I cannot see

When I look in the mirror I do not see the beautiful eyes that you see 

When I look in the mirror, I do not see how the gap between my teeth is attractive 

When I look in the mirror I do not see how my nose is the perfect size according to some. 

What is a perfectly sized nose anyway?

I'm blind to those external features 

When my eyes hit the mirror the only thing I look at is my soul. 

I look at how much I've grown

I look at how much good I've done

I look at how much investment I've made in myself 

I look at how much of Gods words I have obeyed 

I look straight into my heart.

When people compliment my intelligence

When they compliment my words

When they compliment my actions and gestures 

They're complimenting that which is within my reach. 

I did not work for the beautiful face you see before you. 

God gave me that for free. 

It's like one of the talents he spoke of in the book of Matthew. 

Dwelling on a talents worth at the time it's handed to you is lazy.

What matters is what you have been able to achieve with that which was given 

What matters is what you have been able to nurture and grow with the seeds God put in your hands. 

And so compliments about my work is what I value. 

My best compliments are compliments about my heart... my soul... my spirit.

I dare say this is rightly so. 

How I met my Best Friend

My Dearest Jesus...

He pays more attention to detail than any other person I know.
He knew I wouldn't get to walk with him physically
He knew a time would come when I'd long to hold his hands
He knew I would long to lean on his bosom just like John did
He knew I would long to see him smile
He knew I would long to touch his hair
He knew I would have lonely nights where I'd want nothing more than to hug him and cry
He knew...
And then He thought to himself
What do I give my Precious child?
How do I remind her every second that I'm always with her?
Who do I assign to walk with her through life's way?
Just then, He remembered his own life's journey
He remembered his own long time friend and partner
He decided to give me the one who saw him through his walk on earth
One with the most gentle and beautiful heart
The greatest companion and most reliable friend
He gave me the Holy Spirit
He gave me a wonder to help me along life's way
And now here on earth I don't feel the absence of Jesus
The Holy Spirit is here with me
Now I have someone to walk with, lean on, touch...
Thank you Jesus
For Introducing me to my Best-friend.

Love,
Sinmisola NY

A trip down memory lane

I’m fast to forget my past experiences

Particularly the negative ones

But today in a rare moment

In one very FAST second

The old but familiar mixed emotions rush in

And then I remembered

I remembered all that we felt

I remembered all that we wished we would be

I remembered everything

The pain

The joy

The sorrow

The laughter

The end

How the tears rolling down my cheeks felt; hot

I remembered what it felt like to have loved and lost

…

I thought I was completely over you

I thought the scars were faded

I thought I was fine

I thought right

I am 

But today I remembered 

How we hurt me deep

How that the scars of deep wounds never leave without a trace

You uncovered those faded scars today

You reminded me again to be careful with my heart

In that quick second

I remembered where we had been

And why I must never go back there

With you or anyone else

Thanks for reminding me.

WHAT NOBODY TOLD ME

No one told me it would be painful..

No one told me building character would cost me life

apparently for me to grow I just realized somethings have to go

I have to kill “Self-seeking Sinmi”, I have to kill MY WILL.

I just checked the dictionary for the meaning of sacrifice;

It means to give up, to forego..

To surrender or destroy something desirable

I have destroyed my appetite

I have destroyed my pleasures

I have destroyed my sleep

I have destroyed my time

I have destroyed my energy

Sacrifice…

That seems to be all the world demands from me today

Just one thing yet so profound

And amidst all this rambling and soul bearing

I hear a voice in my head saying “you’re just starting Sinmi”

By the time you’re done on earth you’ll be “sacrifice” personified

…

Everyone is always saying be responsible,

What they don’t tell you is the meaning of that word

And what it does to you.

You see, responsibility will break you.

It will rob you of your will

It confines you to commitments and cripples you

It makes fun such a distant word until you’re ready to redefine it’s meaning

Responsibility is not mundane

And “ease” is not in any way synonymous with it

….

No one told me independence meant being able to stand ALONE

Being Light comes at a price

You’re steady cleaning the wounds of others whilst yours lie open and untreated

You’re so busy solving the problems of others whilst you’re drowning in a pool of your own

Why Because? “WONDER Sinmi”

I mean how can anything be wrong with me?

I agree

…

You know the beauty of this process?

God.

He’s presence becomes much more glaring than ever before

Whilst you busy yourself running around the affairs of his children

He himself takes care of you

You learn to trust him because he’s your ONLY ally in the real sense 

And at this point I have the brightest smile on…

God has my back!

And that’s really all I need.

So, keep the demands rolling in guys!

Keep the questions coming!

Keep the expectations high!

And as for you; life? Keep the lemons coming.

I gatchu!

Wait a minute

Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine. Somehow she started talking about how she had stopped praying for the fulfillment of Vision 1 of 10 in 10 (Vision 1 of 10 in 10 is the prophecy of Bishop David Oyedepo that Covenant University would be one of the top 10
universities in the word by the year 2022).
I asked why and she was going on and on about how she didn't believe in it. I became agitated( though I didn't show it) as I just couldn't understand how a stakeholder in the school could utter such words. I mean maybe it's just me but aren't we all supposed to be running with the vision believing God to confirm the word of his servant?
Well from her words obviously not every one had the same perspective as I did. As my agitation and rage was steady rising, the holy spirit said to me "Wait a minute, why are you taking what she said so personally, when the one who will bring the prophesy to pass loves her all the same and won't hold what shes saying or believes against her?"
It was then it hit me. We Christians most times stop at the knowledge that God's loves us not going further to understand that God loves the next person just as much. That all he gave to you and me he has made available to the other person as well.
He is not a partial father, he actually loves us all the same!! We are all sinners and please note there is no "big" or "small" Sin in the eyes of God; Sin is Sin. In the same way, his Grace is his Grace, his Love is his Love. The same Love he has for you and me he has for the pedophile, the murderer, the thief, the mocker, the homosexual.. Everyone!
The bible says we should despise sin not despise the sinner (Psalm 97:10a) those 2 are very different things actually.
As I realize this day by day I'm learning to quit being so unforgiving. Remember that line of the  lords prayer that reads "forgive us our trespasses even as we forgive those who trespass against us" (Matthew 6: 12, Matthew 6:14-15).
Christianity after all is being more like Jesus, If we say we are trying to be like Jesus we must not forget to emulate his forgiving, merciful and gracious nature. Its the entire package, not just some of his character traits.

Love,
Sinmisola Y.